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#11: It’s more comfortable than getting up.

#12: I’m not lazy. My spine is.

#13: I learned this from a video game.

#14: You’ll eat your greens if it’s the closest food in sight.

#15: The easiest way to keep track of your kids.

#16: Whoever is hating on fur coats is missing out, because this is HEAVEN.

#17: Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

#18: They’re the lazy ones. I didn’t skip a day of vacuuming.

#19: Hey buddy, my mouth isn’t on top of my head.

#20: This is faster than I was going before.

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Richard is a funny, weird, artistic guy. From Colorado. Living in Los Angeles. Headed towards infinity and beyond. Follow him on social media to see more on his shenanigans.