If you’re an enthusiastic extrovert or just not the kind of person who tries to avoid contact with other humans, you might have a hard time befriending a dedicated introvert. It’s worth the effort, because introverts are amazing, loyal friends. To help you out, here are 25 things to help you understand more about how introverts think.


So You Want to be Friends with an Introvert?

#1 – Being an introvert can be exhausting.


Spending time with people—even people you like—can be draining for introverts. The small talk and casual conversation that comes so easily to others is a major effort for introverts.
Tip for extroverts: Don’t take offense when we slip away from the party early. We still like you, we just need a break.

#2 – Being an introvert can be awesome!


Time alone gives introverts time to think, be creative, and explore our hobbies.
Tip for extroverts: That time inside our own heads is what makes us more interesting to talk to later!

#3 – Being an introvert isn’t lonely.


Just because we’re alone doesn’t mean we’re lonely. We are sometimes our own best entertainment.
Tip for extroverts: It’s totally okay for you to go out without us. Don’t feel bad that we’re home alone.

#4 – But being an introvert sometimes IS lonely.


Introverts still enjoy interacting with people, but pulling ourselves out of isolation can be really hard. That’s why we need extroverted friends to coax us into being social sometimes.
Tip for extroverts: Please don’t stop inviting us to come with you.


#5 – Being an introvert can be confusing.


We want to hang out… but when it’s time to hang out we just want to stay home. Figuring out what level of sociability we want is hard even for us, so it’s no wonder extroverts have a hard time understanding what we want.
Tip for extroverts: You know how your pet begs to go outside – then immediately wants to come back inside? We’re kind of like that.

#6 – Being an introvert is like being James Bond.


Like 007, we’re undercover. Our public personality is only the tip of an awesome iceberg.
Tip for extroverts: In most situations we’re quiet and reserved, but just wait until you REALLY get to know us.

#7 – Being an introvert is a minor superpower.


Introverts are fantastic listeners and observers. We’ll pay attention to your stories, let you vent, and remember what’s going on so we can check on you later.
Tip for extroverts: Your introvert friends give great gifts because we pay attention to what you like and need!

#8 – Being an introvert can be scary.


We have to work ourselves up for company, so a pop-in visit might just have us hiding to avoid answering the door.
Tip for extroverts: Do us a favor and text before you drop by. We need that extra warning.


#9 – Introverts need extroverts.


It’s hard for us to take the first step in any relationship, so sometimes we need more outgoing people to make an overture.
Tip for extroverts: Don’t push us to make lots of friends. We’re happy with a few close, meaningful friendships.

#10 – Introverts are endlessly entertained by themselves.


Introverts don’t need to be with people to have fun. Introverts often have hobbies or collections that they enjoy during their alone time.
Tip for extroverts: Check out your favorite introvert’s hobbies. Maybe you’ll find a fascinating new pastime!

#11 – Introverts aren’t ignoring you.


Remember that introverts need alone time to reset and relax.
Tip for extroverts: It’s not personal. An introvert can be with the person they love most in the world and still need to take a break.

#12 – Many introverts don’t like phone calls.


An unexpected phone call can leave an introvert floundering for the right words and wishing for more time to consider and reply thoughtfully. Texting and messaging give us more time to think.
Tip for extroverts: Even if the response to your text is just “k,” know that your introvert thought about it long and hard and wrote several versions before sending it to you.


Tara is a mom, instructional designer, author, cat lover, and collector of funny pictures on the Internet.